Wishing for the day that the in-flight movies have not only three men and a..
How long do I have to pretend to be enjoying myself?
Thank you but I have already decided I am not coming.
Super satisfying to cancel on you while taking my morning poo.
You are as predictable as finding a naff collection of shells on display in a..
Sorry, but the urge to dance to this banger is greater than trying to comfort..
I am ever so sorry but I already decided you are a massive bellend.
Oh Christ. Just pour the wine already.
When I get too emotionally sentimental and play Beauty And The Beast, sang..
Thank you for the invite. I am planning my excuse already.
I am sorry but I can only stand your company once a year.
Shall we send the child to bed early so we may drink the wine uninterrupted?
Just trust me that everyone is wine drunk ready to hear that 'Don't Call Me..
Sorry, but you will just have to drink your wine faster to not miss out on a..
Thank you for not coming. It spared me some dull conversation.
With a little bit of luck we can make it through the dire dinner party.
Felt cute. Might text an ex later
No worries if not. I'll just check your instagram stories to see if you're..
Kiss me beause I am hungover, needy and attention seeking.
Please do not take my hasty emoji reply as a firm commitment to your plan.
