Please do not converse with me when I am clammy and waddling en route for my..
Oh do shut the fuck up about your lovely time away and how it was just what..
Please do not sour the mood with your tedious work problems.
Who drank all the fucking fancy wine?
Thank you for showing us every second of your holiday, even your trips to the..
Sometimes I order half pints and pretend I am continental.
Oui, I agree, beaucoup de vin is beaucoup de fun.
Remember to show absolutely everyone how much fun you are having on holiday.
You are as predictable as a Fleetwood Mac song on a wedding..
We are so pleased you have finally mastered the pronunciation of croissant.
We came, we saw, we were disappointed so came home to watch a Disney movie in..
Just duet.
You will not find comfort in the limp, weak and disheartening crunch of a rice..
I'll come to the toilet with you so I don't get stuck with the boring one.
I am secretly pleased as I was desperately hoping you would message to cancel.
I only came to drink the fine wine, generally shit stir and delight in the..
Reach for the second bottle of wine. (and pop a third in the fridge just in case
Who drank all the fucking rosé?
You must understand the friendship abruptly ends if you willingly play Mr..
Oh Christ. Please do not suggest to stay over.
