I only came to laugh at your child's inevitable meltdown.
Spoiler alert. Your new kitchen will not get the amount of likes you hoped for.
Please do not expect me to commit to any Sunday plans.
We only stayed as we heard you were bringing out some fucking great lasagne.
I only came to gossip, drink your best wine and dance my ass off.
Who drank all the fucking fancy wine?
Oh Christ. Just pour the fucking wine already.
We must confess we only came to raid your best wine and cause chaos.
I'm not sure it was the right crowd to play your melancholy music to.
We only stayed as we heard you had Goldeneye and four controllers.
I must confess I hearted the video you sent without actually watching it.
I'd much rather be drinking homemade cocktails and dancing to Talking Heads.
When I play my obscure Japanese jazz funk fusion records it is time for..
Please do not get in our way when we are drunk sexy dancing to 90s rnb.
No one cares about how many different craft beers you drank you boring arsehole.
Who drank all the motherfucking mezcal?
Who drank all the motherfucking rosé?
Oh fuck. Not another Whatsapp group that I will hastily archive.
Please stop bringing your shit wine and drinking all the nice wine at the..
Hate plate for a downstairs toilet where you send your least favourite guests.
