Let's fucking cancel the dreadfully dull social plans and get day drunk.
I am sorry for zoning out while you reminisced about your 'mental' evening.
I am sorry but I left the drinks do due to boredom.
When I said I was obsessed with your work, I was lying.
The loo brush is not there purely for fucking decoration.
Oh Christ. This was meant to be an afternoon thing not an all-fucking-nighter.
Now is not the time to interrupt the playlist with some nostalgic indie wank.
Don't fucking stop me when I suggest to order 3 more bottles of rosé at 3am.
Oh Christ. Please do not suggest to stay over.
I am sorry for trying to pass off that elongated fart as the neighbour's drill.
Don't you dare interrupt me when I am in a fucking filthy mood and listening..
Please do not vape in the house like some cunty teenager on the bus.
Please think very fucking wisely of what song you queue up next.
You are not a fucking interior designer.
Oh fuck no, I wasn't flirting, I was just being awkward.
