I only came to try out your new Japanese toilet with a poo I had been saving.
Surely there is more to talk about than your dated renovation plans.
Oh fantastic. You bought the shit wine.
Fuck your Bollinger I am drinking Lidl champagne and snuffling hula hoops.
Please tell the guests to go. I am bored of shitty small talk.
Oh Christ. Just pour the fucking wine already.
Please do not stay too long. I feel a fart coming.
Oh fuck off with your let's definitely do drinks soon please.
Fuck your fucking smoothies I am making margaritas and having fun.
Who drank all the fucking orange wine?
Please do not sing Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much when I am telling..
We still do not know what you do for a job.
The coasters are there for a fucking reason.
Please take the very obvious hints as it is very fucking well past home time.
Oh fantastic. You brought the shit wine.
