Prosecco did not make you do it. Your fucking irritating personality traits did.
Please politely tell the guests to piss off home.
Careful. We are still seething from your last whoops-a-daisy with our best..
Please stop over complicating the plan.
Please refrain from after dinner living room dance floor farting.
Oh fantastic. You bought the shit wine.
Please stop talking us through your paint samples for the living room.
Oh do shut the fuck up about your new extension.
Please do not make me cranky by denying me my afternoon wanky.
Don't you dare fucking interrupt the playlist to put on your self-proclaimed..
I fucking dread your boring company.
Oh for fuck's sake. Enough talking, let's go dancing. Now.
I am dreadfully sorry but I only find you funny when I'm fucked.
Don't you dare fucking touch the party playlist.
Don't you dare invite me to anything later than 4pm on a Sunday.
We will never, ever forget your avoidable red wine spill.
If you do have to stay the night, please save your monstrous hungover poo..
I am looking forward to cancelling the plans you made.
Please do not get shitfaced and demand to hear Livin' La Vida Loca again.
Hurry, I can only nod and fake smile for so long.
