This hate plate is intended to be hung in Jennifer Coolidge's private collection
A packet of cheese and onion and a wank will have to do.
We are thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine and forgot the crisps.
Don't you dare fucking interrupt me when I am in a filthy mood and listening..
Quaff that wine and now is the time to dance badly to 90s hip hop.
Please do not fucking touch my perfectly cooked hash browns.
Sorry, I have diarrhoea that evening.
Oh fuck no I wasn't flirting, I was just being awkward.
Sorry, I was only feigning interest.
We know it was your rancid, retina burning, panic attack inducing fart.
A packet of percy pigs and a wank will have to do.
Oh stop. You are not an interior designer.
You make me clammy.
Fuck your fucking smoothies I am making piña coladas and having fun.
Please do not dance on the sofa. It is terribly vintage.
Boo fucking hoo cares Harry.
Let's not do brunch. It it so fucking tedious.
Don’t you dare fucking touch the Spotify playlist.
I’d rather be at home masturbating.
When is the earliest we can tell everyone to leave?
