You are not a fucking interior designer.
Oh fuck no, I wasn't flirting, I was just being awkward.
Please stop sharing your shit holiday photos. They are not remotely interesting.
We are sorry but posting shit pictures of your mediocre living room does not..
Please stop giving us your homemade gifts. They are more shitty than pretty.
Prosecco did not make you do it your fucking irritating personality traits did.
We will never forget your dog poo shoe and our beloved rug incident.
Please do not get shitfaced and demand to hear Mambo Number Five again.
Oh Christ. please get some new anecdotes.
Oh do shut the fuck up about your lovely time away and how it was just what..
Oui, I agree, beaucoup de vin is beaucoup de fun.
Please do not text your dealer. This was meant to be a simple drinks do.
Fuck you fucking smoothies I am making breakfast bellinis and having fun.
If you do have to stay the night please save your monstrous hungover poo..
Now might not be the best time to finish off the leftover festival MD.
Not another shitty dinner party where we go home hungry and bored.
I do apologise for getting wankered and playing Avril Lavigne's Complicated.
Please do not bother talking to me while I am enjoying my wine.
We both know I will not be making the recipe.
Who drank all the fucking fancy wine?
