I'd rather be at home watching Threen Men And A Baby. Not only is Tom Selleck..
I only came to try out your new Japanese toilet with a poo I had been saving.
Surely there is more to talk about than your dated renovation plans.
Oh fantastic. You bought the shit wine.
Fuck your Bollinger I am drinking Lidl champagne and snuffling hula hoops.
Please tell the guests to go. I am bored of shitty small talk.
Oh Christ. Just pour the fucking wine already.
Please do not stay too long. I feel a fart coming.
Oh fuck off with your let's definitely do drinks soon please.
Fuck your fucking smoothies I am making margaritas and having fun.
Who drank all the fucking orange wine?
Please do not sing Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much when I am telling..
We still do not know what you do for a job.
The coasters are there for a fucking reason.
Please take the very obvious hints as it is very fucking well past home time.
Oh fantastic. You brought the shit wine.
Oh that does sound dandy but sorry I've got plans involving a shit and a shandy.
I always regret making plans with you.
We only stayed to drink all the fancy wine and create drama.
Now is not the time to interrupt the playlist with some nostalgic indie wank.
