We are sorry but you were a huge, fucking bore at the party.
When I said sorry I am busy I meant I did not want to come.
Please stop saying ground control to major pong every time you fart.
Please stop sending boring photos to the group chat.
Thank you for interrupting my really fucking great story with your really shit..
Please do not get shitfaced and demand to heard Darude's Sandstorm on repeat.
You are less believable than Taylor Swift singing the word 'fucking.'
Now might not be the most appropriate time to whatsapp your dealer.
Highly instagram-able content.
Please do not get in our way when we are recklessly day drinking.
Not this fucking story again.
Wake up next to people who make you horny.
I am sorry but I am not sure it was the right crowd to play Todd Rundgren to.
When I get too drunk and play John Waite's 'Missing You', it is probably best..
We liked you better before your midlife crisis.
I am ever so excited to cancel our social plans.
This hate plate is to confess how much I hate your wretched, shitty cat.
Please do not do coke in our bathroom while I am still using the toilet.
Please do not dress sexier than me at the afternoon drinks do.
Oh fuck off with your let's get a date in the diary soon.
