I'd rather be eating scampi fries (multipack) in bed.
Who drank all the ruddy fucking crémant?
Please do not waste your time explaining the benefits of alcohol free wine.
Sorry those napkins are for a different claibre of guest. We have kitchen roll..
I don't care even if it was an accident. There will be no fucking Ed Sheeran..
Kiss me because I am hungover, needy and attention seeking.
I liked brutalism before you liked brutalism.
Fantastic. You bought the utter dogshite wine.
Nobody knows it but I'm wearing the cutest thong.
Sorry but the realllly fucking great bit in 'Dance Yrself Clean' is about to..
Now that's what I call yet another beige, bland and bastardly boring interiors..
Oh Christ. This was meant to be just an afternoon thing not an all-fucking..
It is ok. I brought my own Lao Gan Ma crispy chilli oil with me.
We must confess we only came to drink your best wine and cause chaos.
Fuck your fucking health kick I am smoking vogues and buttering my..
