I do apologise for getting wankered and playing Avril Lavigne's Complicated.
Please do not bother talking to me while I am enjoying my wine.
We both know I will not be making the recipe.
Who drank all the fucking fancy wine?
This hate plate is intended to be hung in Jennifer Coolidge's private collection
A packet of cheese and onion and a wank will have to do.
We are thrilled you bought cheap corner shop wine and forgot the crisps.
Don't you dare fucking interrupt me when I am in a filthy mood and listening..
Quaff that wine and now is the time to dance badly to 90s hip hop.
Please do not fucking touch my perfectly cooked hash browns.
Sorry, I have diarrhoea that evening.
Sorry, I was only feigning interest.
We know it was your rancid, retina burning, panic attack inducing fart.
A packet of percy pigs and a wank will have to do.
Oh stop. You are not an interior designer.
