Your opinion is more pointless than Katy Perry in space.
I'm not sure if i told you already, but I used to live in New York.
Prosecco did not make you do it. Your cunty personality traits did.
Spoiler alert: Your renovation project is the definition of naff.
We both know that you are exaggerating your success.
Which clever cunt drank all the delicious crémant?
Hate plate for a downstairs toilet where you send your least favourite guests.
Don't you dare fucking skip Taylor fucking Swift.
I'm not sure if I told you already but I used to live in London.
Tacky bitch.
Can't wait for the 1000s of shit videos of Oasis to pollute my feed.
Sorry I'm staying in to have a tremendous orgasm.
Hopping on to instgram trends will not save your doomed interiors aesthetic.
I'd rather be drinking home made cocktails and dancing to Talking Heads.
You must photograph the cocktail so you can tell everyone you have a cocktail.
Oh Christ. Stop your garbled gibberish and pour the succulent wine.
We only stayed as we heard there would be a variety of cute canapés.
Please stop saying 'Oi oi me see no vino' as soon as your glass is empty.
Live, laugh, lick me out, lasagne.
I'll just stand right here thank you. Mingling makes me queasy.
