hate plates. | danjamieson

Do not make me fucking beg for a top up.
Price£125.00
Please do not make fucking boring small talk with me while our children..
Price£105.00
Please be more careful with your sticky cocktail spill fingers near my mohair..
Price£105.00
Oh Christ. This was meant to be just an afternoon thing not an all-fucking..
Price£125.00
Thanks. The only thing you brought to the evening was your fucking giant..
Price£105.00
We must confess we only came to drink your best wine and cause chaos.
Price£125.00
I am far too sober for your dramatic bullshit.
Price£115.00
We bought this as a conversation starter as we have little to no personality.
Price£105.00
Hate Plates à Paris!

Everyone is desperate to see your shit holiday highlights that you agonised over
Price£105.00
Oh please. Now is the perfect moment for Taylor mother fucking Swift. 1
Price£115.00
Oh fuck no, I was not flirting, I was just being awkward.
Price£115.00
Sorry I cannot come for I am so busy overthinking.
Price£105.00
Everyone politely pretended to enjoy the overly priced pet nat that resembled..
Price£105.00
Fuck your fucking smoothies I am making highballs and reminiscing about my two..
Price£105.00
Those M&S chocloate covered custard creams and a wank will have to do.
Price£105.00
Hate plate suitable for a future break up.
Price£125.00
Don't mind if I dildo.
Price£105.00
Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend.
Price£105.00
Sorry but I am staying in to eat Haribo, watch naff telly and masturbate.
Price£105.00
Now is probably not the best time to 'up the tempo' with Mr Vegas on shuffle.
Price£105.00

d a n j a m i e s o n .

h a t e p l a t e m a k e r , a r t i s t + i l l u s t r a t o r .

Do not make me fucking beg for a top up.

Please do not make fucking boring small talk with me while our children..

Please be more careful with your sticky cocktail spill fingers near my mohair..

Oh Christ. This was meant to be just an afternoon thing not an all-fucking..

Thanks. The only thing you brought to the evening was your fucking giant..

We must confess we only came to drink your best wine and cause chaos.

I am far too sober for your dramatic bullshit.

We bought this as a conversation starter as we have little to no personality.

Everyone is desperate to see your shit holiday highlights that you agonised over

Oh please. Now is the perfect moment for Taylor mother fucking Swift. 1

Oh fuck no, I was not flirting, I was just being awkward.

Sorry I cannot come for I am so busy overthinking.

Everyone politely pretended to enjoy the overly priced pet nat that resembled..

Fuck your fucking smoothies I am making highballs and reminiscing about my two..

Those M&S chocloate covered custard creams and a wank will have to do.

Hate plate suitable for a future break up.

Don't mind if I dildo.

Oh do shut the fuck up you smug, sad, sensational bellend.

Sorry but I am staying in to eat Haribo, watch naff telly and masturbate.

Now is probably not the best time to 'up the tempo' with Mr Vegas on shuffle.